Please Accept Me For Who I Am: How Should You Tell Your Blind Date/s That You Have Autism

“You’ve said on your profile that you’re autistic?” That’s one question one I got asked when I started online dating. And before you ask; yes, I did write on my profile that I have Autism – and I don’t regret it.

When I started online dating, I decided to be open and honest about myself because I wanted to make new friends, as well as finding a possible future lover.

According to Dating Sites Reviews. com, 91 million people worldwide use dating apps and 7 in 10 of these users are between 16 and 34 years old. So when you think of how many users go online, how many of them tell the truth? You don’t know. However, you’ll know if they’re interested in you and message you privately. That’s what happened with me, involving a couple of users – half of them stopped contacting, weeks after we exchanged; the rest are still in conversation with me.

And, I don’t feel bad about myself because there’ll be plenty fish in the sea. When I got in and lost contact with my first guy, I did feel disappointed and confused. In time, I began to realise that not contacting me back is their loss; they never confessed that they didn’t want to contact me anyone, but I guess that’s boy talk for, “I’m done with you”. However, they may contact again, but I cannot guarantee that it’ll happen.

Before that stage happened, everything was building up; we got to know each other like what we study, work and lives. Most of their lives were extremely interesting; each person reminded me of an interesting character in a William Shakespeare play, a Jane Austin novel or one of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock series. I couldn’t believe that there were so many fascinating lives in the world. And this, the concept of online dating, has taught me something – it’s fun (in the words of my closet friends,”it’s like exploring a sweet shop”) and educational. There, you can learn, through others, about different cultures that are happening all over the world and what happens in their lives, like the subjects they study at University for example.

But when it came to the Autistic part, I knew I had to speak the truth. I had many questions from them – “what’s it’s like being Autistic” and “how does it affect you?” When I was younger, I felt uncomfortable talking about it but since I became one of the 91 million online dating users, my confidence grew and grew. And what I replied to them was the truth. Not the truth that I just gabble on and on, without stopping to look. But the truth that I take to write and re-write, taken straight from my heart. And with that, I leave them to judge their opinion. So far, I’ve had positive, confused and some, out of tone responses. None of them have been negative (thank goodness). However, I don’t know what I’m going to receive next time. It may be good; it may not. As long as I’m comfortable speaking about Autism, that’s all it matters to me.

Can online dating improve your life? Possibly. Can it teach you something? Absolutely! That’s why I highly recommend it. Time maybe changing, but in a way that you may not expect it to be.

If you are considering online dating, then don’t be afraid to start today; it could change your life. Whither you are Autistic or not, it could be an excellent way to start new turns in your relationships and friendships. It certainly did for me. However, it may take a while before you might find the right people – possibly years (which is similar to finding love, off the screen). But don’t lose hope; love can happen to everyone – we all deserve it. But remember when you sign up and thinking of what information to write on your profile – Just be Yourself! Don’t get carried away or lie your way around situations; that’s not the answer to make new friends or a future love.

Also, don’t be afraid to share your hobbies and your daily life. You may meet fantastic people, who may share the same activities as you! You could be very lucky this way, as sharing them can make a relationship and/or friendships stronger.

As for me, I’ll continue to seek new friendships and possible lovers, until I reach success – it may take a while, but I’m not giving up that easily. 😉

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Have Negative Comments on Your Blog or Blog Posts? Welcome to Cowboy Land…

Yesterday, I posted an article on animal rights and received a ‘cowboy’ message on my comments section. Personally, I wasn’t angry but hurt and pretty devastated that someone would do such a thing. So, I thought to myself, what should I do? 

What I ended up doing next surprised me, but it made me feel good. This was the comment made by the ‘cowboy’ and here is my response:

bahaha what a joke. Let’s look at this with some logic and common sense.“Take SeaWorld for example. Not only do they have keep their whales and dolphins in shallow tanks the size of bathtubs (which are forty feet deep), the keepers physically and emotionally abuse them. This includes covering the animals’ sunburns with black zinc oxide, training whales to float on their backs before artificially inseminating and masturbating them; which forces them to breed earlier than usual. In one case, SeaWorld allow one of their female killer whales to inbred – with her own sons! Because of these barbarian acts, SeaWorld have failed to recognise how much they care for their animals; even the whales know that they are being treated unfairly. And do you want to know the worst part? That SeaWorld kidnaps them! Yes, SeaWorld kidnaps Orcas from the wild, before sending them to captivity.

The signs are all there – the collapsed dorsal fins (which indicates an unhealthy and unhappy orca), the reported deaths of trainers. But it’s just Orcas that are getting bad treatment.”

First of all, how are 40 foot deep tanks shallow? How are 5,000,000-7,000,000 gallon stadium complexes bathtubs? I can’t swim in my bathtub (I wish I could!) Additionally, SeaWorld is planning to expand their tanks. It’s called the Blue World Project. Look it up.

The black zinc oxide story doesn’t have any proof either way (unless you count biased articles from websites like The Dodo or Awesome Ocean)

You know how many orcas were bred through artificial insemination at all marine parks? Here’s a list: http://orcapod.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Natural_Conception_Vs._Artificial_Insemination There have been 96 captive births, only 6 of the orcas were conceived through AI. That’s 6.25% – not even a quarter. Not even 10%.

“SeaWorld allow [sic] one of their female killer whales to inbred [sic] – with her own sons!” No. The whale, Katina, mated naturally with her son Taku – she was not intentionally inbred. SeaWorld could have SEPARATED (dun dun duuun) Katina from her son to prevent inbreeding. Here’s SeaWorld’s response to it: http://ask.seaworldcares.com/?p=851

“SeaWorld kidnaps them! Yes, SeaWorld kidnaps Orcas”. No. The last orcas that SeaWorld “kidnapped” were Katina and Kasatka in 1978 – 37 years ago. It’s not something that happens anymore, luckily.

Collapsed dorsal fins do not indicate an unhealthy and unhappy orca. Even Dr. Naomi Rose, a prominent anti-captivity activists, admitted that it does not mean the animals are unhealthy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkVj_lZkp0c

As for it meaning that the animals are unhappy, the animals can’t move their dorsal fins around. There are no muscles or bones in dorsal fins. It’s not an indicator of their happiness.

Most scientists on both sides of the debate think collapsed dorsals are caused by gravity. Captive orcas spend more time near the surface. It’s not an indicator of welfare. The animals probably don’t even know their fins are collapsed.

Might want to do more research next time!

Thank you for your honesty and the link you sent me. I appreciate it so much; however, I would like to point five reasons why I wrote information about SeaWorld in this article:

Pointer #1: I’ve heard stories of SeaWorld through loved ones, as we all animal lovers. I even went to a SeaWorld attraction in Canada, where we saw, face-to-face, how Orcas were being cruelly treated. In small show tanks.

Pointer #2: I’ve signed a petition (which the description link is at the bottom) and once a month, I’ve been receiving emails from the campaigner that gives regular updates of the campaign. Not all the news is good though. 

Pointer #3: I’ve done a fair amount of research, just like all of my articles. In all honesty, I would never write ‘make believe’ or conspiracy theories. Never in my life because writing them is a complete waste of time.

Pointer #4: The websites I’ve researched are valid and honest. I even checked the small print myself. It’s a better way to go than using Wikipedia all the time because most of the information is better bogus. On another point, I don’t really buy SeaWorld’s decision on getting new sea tanks for the Ocras. Do they have the money for it? Are they going to keep their promises – to treat their animals fairly and stop all the negativity happening behind the scenes and while their performing? Those are important questions to keep in mind because I don’t think that’s actually going to happen. Even television has pointed SeaWorld’s negativity out in a TV documentary called ‘Blackfish’. This focuses all of this after one the keepers died, being eaten by one of the Ocras. 

Pointer #5: The humans. Now, let’s think on this one. How many humans would process greed over love? How many would choose cruelty to animals rather than caring for them? How many would choose harming animals for life by following the example of others? There are so many humans who are choosing it right now, even ones who aren’t poachers, or locking animals in small, cramped cages in zoo’s and amusement parks. 

Once again, thank you for commenting on actingmylife and we will be looking to you company very soon. 😉😊


So, if you have been affected by a ‘cowboy’ situation, you can remember these points:

1. You can delete them (if you feel that you want to; if not, please continue reading).

2. Always be polite; even if you are apologising to admit that you are wrong. No one likes a negative response, otherwise the argument continues. 

3. Make you facts and opinions very clear. This is the important one. 

4. Remember to breathe and count to ten before responding when you are losing your temper. 

5. Be the Elle Woods inside you. Just remember to leave a positive vibe at the end. 
Hopefully, I’ve explained this situation well and helped you with this. If not, comment back and you’ll get a response. 😊

Gigi Xxx