Waiting For A Rainbow: Catching Dreams – Friday 15th May 2015

Bucket List

  • Participate In An Open Mic Night
  • Practise and Travel Independently
  • Go On More Holidays (Local and Aboard)
  • Do Driving Theory and Test
  • Look For Voluntary Weekend Jobs
  • Sign Up For Activities/Volunteer Jobs
  • Talk More Openly About Anxiety Issues
  • Make Sure to Return Library Books on Time
  • Go To Bed At An Earlier Time, Rather than Later
  • Complete Kat Ashley Novel
  • Help Around the House More
  • Do More Drawing and Photography and Zentangles
  • Plan for the Future; Look into Independent Living, Work Places, etc.
  • Work on Anxiety, Drama and Vocal Exercises
  • Cut Down on Fizzy Drinks
  • Study Extra Hard at Drama School
  • Do More Yoga or Mediation
  • Open Up My Imagination A Bit More
  • Don’t Be Afraid to Say “No”
  • Do More Creative Writing
  • Be A Zoo Keeper For A Day
  • Learn to Play Guitar
  • Be Friendly to Everyone
  • Don’t Be Afraid to Share Ideas with Teachers
  • Do Extra Work with UniversalExtra
  • Practise Sign Language Weekly
  • Cook More
  • Be thankful with What I Have or Got
  • Enjoy Life, As It Is
  • Keep On Believing and Never Stop Dreaming

Friday 15th May

Another weekend has officially begun. Well, mine started yesterday. But hey, a weekend is a weekend. This week has been a mixture; there’ve been good days, bad days and some pretty puzzling days.

Monday morning began with a rotten start; I thought I was alone since none of my peers wanted to talk me because they ignored me for reason. But, some of them did talk to me, but their conversations weren’t positive. Mostly annoying. So during a long two hour lunch break, I went to a nearby town near my Drama school and spent my first hour at a Costa coffee shop, where I did my homework. Then, I returned to the school for the second half, where I alarmingly found A, who was looking really pale. He was just recovering from an epileptic fit and Na was looking after him. So, I decided to look after A with Nathan until his mother came to pick him up to take him home. While we were waiting, the three of us talked about random stuff and had a few giggles.

At lunch break on Tuesday, I was doing homework when Da suddenly told me to come outside. In slight confusion, I came into the school’s garden where Na told me turn my back and look at him. A few minutes later, Na told me to look behind me. Then, I saw Da, Jac, A, L, So and a new friend, Ro gathered around in a semi-circle with birthday cake, right in front of them. It was a wonderful surprise, as I discovered that they all planned a surprise belated birthday party for me. Then, I saw a recognisable figure, who was holding a bouquet of red roses in his hand; it was boy who I distanced myself nearly two Christmases ago.

‘Happy Birthday, Georgina and I just want to say, I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?’

I was in so much shock that I wasn’t sure how to respond. Then, I realised that the feud has gone long enough and he was going to graduate this summer, so I couldn’t stay mad at him for much longer. In the end, I accepted his apology; all of my friends cheered and applauded. Even Na said, ‘I do love a happy ending’. For the rest of the break, we had conversations and had slices of birthday cake. We all had an amazing time.

Then in my dance lesson, my classmates and I had to complete a task – to choreograph dance routines from three slavery poems that’ve been written by members of our year. And in my group, one of my poems, Our Slavery was picked! Although I was happy, I knew my peers were going to alternate the piece either with or without the poem. So, I was taking a big gamble. I stood back and let my group take over, but all of them don’t know that I wrote it. Their ideas, though are pretty amazing and our piece is looking good so far.

On Wednesday, it was Monday morning all over again. Our delivering workshop session didn’t go too well. Nearly all of my classmates didn’t understand the lesson because it wasn’t explained properly and some of them were ill and grumpy. I was so stressed and puzzled that I wanted to go home. Never in all my days at Drama school that I wanted to the weekend to start so quickly.

When I came home, Mum and I had a talk about the boy (who we’ll call Stu). After a discussion, we concluded that even though it was kind of Stu to apologise, its best that we should remain friends and not go out together again. Just in case if he breaks his promise. At the party, he said that he’ll never hurt me again. We even shook hands on it. I have to be careful and aware; otherwise I’ll be back to square one again. I also have be careful of Da, who was really keen for Stu and me to get back together. Does she mean to make us start dating? I hope not; she’s already thinking of organising a reunion party with all of friends. I said I didn’t need the party because seeing my friends is more than enough for me. Hopefully, everything will be alright but I already have a bad feeling in my gut already. Was it the right thing to do? I’m so unsure right now.

Song #1: I’m Not In Love by 10cc – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ln86-fteBOc

This song explains my new feelings towards Stu; it just simply explains my new uncertainty and confusion towards this new step. 

On Thursday evening, I had a vocal rehearsal with two members of Blue Tea Rose, Ellie and Patrick at my house. The rehearsal was complicated; I’ve never done backing vocals before and it was hard to separate my vocals from Ellie’s. So, we all decided that I should stick to two, three or four songs to sing backing vocals and one song I can sing as the lead! So, I’m trying to find songs I could sing with the band backing me. I’m hoping to find one by the next rehearsal because I don’t want to be stuck before our next gig.

I’ve been writing a lot of assignments lately; I discovered this week that I have to complete a two thousand word report on my entire University course and finish it before next year. Although I don’t need to start yet, my learning monitor, and friends have suggested that I should make a start.

Also, my learning monitor is keen for me to learn how to book holidays independently with Ann. I guess she’s keen for me to come out of my shell, which is really good. Plus, I have to write a new bucket list, and bring into our session next week; this list will help me to build my confidence.

Song #2: Move On Up by Curtis Mayfield – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGR9bQh-kpk

This song explains my quest for finding independence and taking the next steps in life.  

That’s pretty much I have to say. Now, I’ll have to sleep and get ready for Ann. Tomorrow, we’re going out for lunch and then to the cinema to see A Royal Night Out. We cannot wait; we should be in for a real treat. 🙂

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Waiting For A Rainbow – 1st May

Bucket List – Things To Do Before I Turn 21

Glastonbury

  1. Visit Versailles ^
  2. Take a Photography Course
  3. Learn to Play the Guitar – Incomplete
  4. Publish Something (!)
  5. Host a Dinner Party – and Invite People (!)
  6. Have a Portrait Painted (or in this case, photographed)
  7. Learn a Foreign Language
  8. Be An Extra in a Film/Television Program
  9. Do My Own Laundry (!)
  10. Get a Move On With My Driving (!)
  11. Be a Zoo Keeper For A Day – Incomplete
  12. Be More Charitable
  13. Volunteer To Help
  14. Go Somewhere Unfamiliar
  15. Sing karaoke (Or in this case join a band)
  16. Go 24 Hours Without Technology
  17. Watch A Sunset
  18. Be Brave
  19. Create a Dream Home – For When I Move Out (Goodness Knows How Long It’ll Be)
  20. Plan An Awesome 21st Birthday Party (!)

As a girl, the words “Happily Ever After” meant riding off into the sunset with the one you love. Now (as an adult), I see the true meaning of “Happy Ever After”. It’s riding off into the sunset, on your own and feeling victorious. I don’t know about you, but I don’t need a prince charming to save me now.

Friday 1st May 2015

Friday 1st May

Well, this is it; the end of the road. I have now completed my one year journey of rediscovering myself and I couldn’t have been more proud. Looking back on this past year, I have learned so much about myself. I’ve discovered that I am stronger, confident and (dare I say it), full of life. When I first began this journey, I never thought about where it would lead me; now I know that I’ve gained so much and yet, there’ll be more to come.

Song #1: Birthday by Katy Perry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHshIYkj6hM

This is a traditional birthday pop song I like to play on my birthday. I just love it; I’ll even love it for a few days after. It’s just a cool tune. 🙂

Today, I celebrated my twenty-first birthday surrounded by my wonderful friends and family. I could never ask for more kindness and love from them than I already have. They are wonderful, loyal, warm and sincerely special. I know they had to put a lot for me and others too but they’re the real inspiration; the reason why I took up acting, writing and to help me become the person I am today.

Throughout the entire day, I had neighbours, friends and family coming to visit me. Then in the afternoon, I had I, T and S over to my house, where we had sandwiches and cake at my house before travelling to The World of Harry Potter in Leavesden. We had a really good time, looking around the exhibition and taking lots of photographs. I even had a chance to open the doors to the Great Hall; when a member of staff asked whose birthday it was, I hesitated no time and I went to reach the doors. I shared them with a teenage boy, who was also celebrating his birthday. Together, we pushed the doors and lead the crowd into the Great Hall. It was amazing; I had Goosebumps all over and oh my gosh, I had so much fun. We even had the chance to see the Hogwarts train and station, which opened to the public this Easter. We had so much fun and I will never forget the wonderful experience I’ve had with all of them.

Song #2: The Epilogue (Leaving Hogwarts) by John Williams & Alexandre Desplat:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z6gY8RkEAg

This beautiful instrumental score was played while I was taking photographs around the Hogwarts station and I ended up being lost; I couldn’t find my friends anywhere, nor my Mum who came along with us (she’s a Harry Potter fan too). When I did find them, I found them standing next to the train carriages and as I walked towards them with a big smile on my face, the ending of this score (from 2:38 to 3:30) played loudly in the background. I will never forget this moment; it truly is a wonderful memory to treasure forever. And as I walked on, I could dream in my mind, me walking towards a meadow where a rainbow is waiting for me to come and share all it’s wonders with me. 🙂

And thus, I complete my journey and searching for a rainbow. From this, I will share the memories of the good times and learn lessons from the bad times – at the end of the day, there’s a new road just waiting to be discovered. Now, that I am over the pain and suffering from the past, my aim is to focus on the future and the new adventures beyond the horizon. For I’m not just a girl, I’m the girl with a rainbow heart. And I am a rainbow.

Song #3: End of the Road by Boys 2 Men: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n9Bk1OynlA

I’ve heard this song so many times; at my school graduation and drama school graduation. This song, truly marks the end of a road and this is certainly the case for ‘Waiting For A Rainbow’. :’)

Waiting For A Rainbow – 30th April – Part I

Song #1: The Climb by Joe McElderry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6DtHQmhNQ0

This song explains my fears, struggles and dreams all in one. This song helped me to get through difficult times and gives me courage to try new things, without holding back.  

This month has been extremely busy; with everything else on top, I have also been planning for my birthday tomorrow. Since the beginning of April, everyone in my family have been asking what I’m doing and to hurry up! In all honestly, I do not like being rushed. I like to relax, list and take my time, no matter how slow or fast it may be.

The Easter holidays were amazing. I got a chance to see my friends outside Drama school, while hanging out with Ann; we’ve been shopping, going to the cinema, the zoo, and paid a visit to Down House, the home of Charles Darwin and his family. Also, I spent a day with Mum by going to Blenheim Palace; we had a lovely time.

I started the summer term on the thirteenth in the afternoon; that day, my peers and I spent the time preparing and learning. However we all had the ‘first day syndrome’; I was glad that I wasn’t the only one. By the beginning of the second week, things were back to normal.

After settling down, I was busy being… well … busy. I saw more friends and, again, I hung out with Ann; first, we went to see Jane Austen’s House. The house was small because it was built in the sixteenth century but the experience was incredible; there was so much to see. We went to the nearby church and in the house itself, we wrote using feathered quill paper and made lavender bags. It was wonderful and sincerely enjoyable.

When I started to settle in at Drama school, there were positive experiences waiting in the wings to appear before me. Within two weeks, I was asked to join their writer’s group, their local children’s theatre group, children’s festival and a trip to the famous RADA Drama School; there, we had a tour of the whole building and we observed their costume department and costumes. I accepted all of them, apart from the writer’s group because it clashed with the summer show. I had to do the show; it is part of my course but I said to my teachers that I am still interested doing the writers group. I really enjoyed RADA and being part of the children’s festival. It was lovely that I was given the opportunity to participate in these amazing (and maybe once in a life time) days.

And if that wasn’t enough, I was given a wonderful position to join a band. The band, Blue Tea Rose was formed a month ago. It originally started with my Dad (who plays the bass guitar), the drummer A, the guitarist P and lead vocalist, E; they all met at a local pub in my town, where there are weekly open mic nights. I didn’t join the band until a week prior to the first performance! At the time, they were looking for a backing vocalist and Dad suggested me. I was given less than seven days to remember most of the songs (altogether, there were eighteen of them). I had a few rehearsals with Dad, my only one with the band last Wednesday and two days later, we had our first performance which was straight after my RADA trip. I had arrive home and get ready very quickly as there wasn’t much time. During the evening, we played classic rock and pop songs by artists including Whitesnake, Stevie Wonder, Wild Cherry, Tina Turner and Elton John. It was a complete success. I also got the biggest applause at the end, even while playing the maracas. I was really, really proud and I cannot wait for future gigs, especially since this was the first one I took part in.

Song #2: I’ve Got the Music In Me by Kiki Dee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPXbniVqG-w

This is one of the songs that is played in Blue Tea Rose (I do backing vocals for this one too); it also explains my passionate love for music and yes, I believe I have the music in me! 🙂

Song #3: This Is My Time by Raven Symoné: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_2rxwWyyZU

This song explains my positive outcomes and dreams in life and how they are appearing right in front of me, especially after the success of the band’s first night. I’ve loved this song, ever since I was little and I still do. If it’s possible, I choose this song to be played at my graduation ceremony when I collect my certificate for my degree and/or BA Hons. 🙂

For a while, I’ve been speculating in the diary; for months and months, there was a note on the twenty-sixth of April saying that I was out during the late afternoon. I knew nothing about this and I got really confused. But when Ann said she was going to see me that day, I thought that was the reason and we were going to London Zoo for the day. Okay, I can live with that; I love seeing the animals anyway.

And that’s what we did. At London Zoo, saw lots of animals and took many pictures. We had a lovely time, apart from the experience in Gorilla Kingdom. When we were in the enclosure, the male silverback was so protective! I was taking pictures of the Gorilla who kept starring at the visitors. Then out of the blue, he turned on me and with his fists, he violently banged against the glass. He sacred the living daylights out of me and still did when I was taking more photos. So, we moved on around the enclosure and realised why he was being protective; there was a baby who was between a week and two weeks old. It was so gorgeous. Seeing one was the highlight of the day; I never saw a baby gorilla before and it was amazing to see one before my eyes.

After the zoo, we walked around Regent’s Park to Baker Street where we had a Nando’s dinner. Then, we made a de-tour to Wembley because there were disruptions on the Bakerloo line; we went for a walk around the stadium. Ann was acting strangely when she told to look at the buildings nearby. (However, I didn’t think of her behaviour at the time. She knows I like sight-see, especially when I travel to new places I’ve never seen before, like Wembley.) But when we were trying to find an exit, we got stuck since we climbed up the ramp. In the end, we walked down a flight of stairs and crossed roads; this led us to the SSE Wembley Arena when suddenly…