Dream Big #1 – Becoming a Joint Author with Favourite Authors

I love reading books from each category and by my favourite authors. From them, I’ve been inspired to dream to write a duet novel. However despite my one of my main, big dreams, I have also wanted to be a joint author, share ideas and write a novel with my favourite author/s. I think it’ll be interesting and really, really fun. It will be an honour to work with these amazing people.

So, here they are my top five authors who I want to write a joint novel with.

  • Helen Fielding – I love all her Bridget Jones works (I’ll be publishing her latest Bridget Jones novel very soon); her writings have a lot of charm, character and creativity.
  • Zoe Sugg – Girl Online was a huge favourite of mine; I became over excited by Zoe’s wonderful story setting and characters.
  • Philippa Gregory – I love Philippa’s Historic stories, mostly her Medieval and Tudor series – they are truly remarkable.
  • Robin Maxwell – I adored Jane: the Woman who Loved Tarzan – it is wonderfully and thoughtfully written, which made me smile.
  • Holly Smale – Like Helen Fielding, Holly’s Geek Girl series have made me uplifted with laughter; it is also very powerful and beautiful.


So that was my list for writing novels with joint authors. 🙂

Witch’s Hat on Good Friday

Note: This is just a short story I’ve made up. I gotten into a bad habit of waking up late this morning (not good!) and found in my room, my old witch’s hat while I was waking up. Hope you enjoy. 🙂

It was Good Friday and little Amelia was excited. Two days left till Easter, she thought, then I can eat all the chocolate Easter eggs Mummy bought for me. But to an excited, little girl Easter was ages away. So, she couldn’t wait any longer. If only there were a way to magically change time…

There was. Amelia was in the bathroom, brushing her teeth when suddenly, she noticed a strange-looking hat. It was all black and had a top, which pointed to the sky. “What is this?” Amelia questioned. “A witches hat? It’s not Halloween yet”. Despite her puzzlement, Amelia had a strange feeling in her guit. What were her instincts trying to tell her? Should she try the hat on? This gave Amelia an idea. “What if I try the hat on and magically change time? Then I can have all the chocolate to myself!”

And that’s just what she did. When she put the hat on, Amelia started to notice swirls, twirls, magical stars and magic wands; the magic was working! After a brief moment, it stopped. Amelia turned around and cheered happily. She ended up in her family kitchen and noticed that the calendar had a red circle on the date – Easter Sunday

In no time, Amelia rushed to the table and ate all the eggs she could find. However, it take long for her to feel sick. “Maybe, eating all of those eggs wasn’t such a good idea after all”, she said. Amelia was right; not she was under the weather, but she got into trouble with her parents too.

“Oh, Amelia”, said her mother. 

“What are we going to do with you?” asked her father.

From that day on, Amelia never ate Easter eggs again. But remember, you don’t always to end up like Amelia. She said to me that good, nice children like yourself should save your eggs for another day or share them with your siblings, cousins or friends. “Easter is a time of sharing and caring about others is the most important thing to do”, she reminds us. I believe Amelia makes a very good point; don’t you? 

Happy Good Friday everybody. 🙂

Thoughts from A Rambling Psyche

To start off week 2 of my interactive poetry the lovely writer over at Acting My Life gave me her three words – (Money, Greed, and Power) giving me a theme that I have used many times in the past. So I tried to approach it from a different route this time, so let me know how I did!

The Road to Power

Its hard not to see
That our world runs on money
And that it determines who we will be
That sweet green honey
Drives us all to greed
Because money gives us power
And we all want to succeed
Money can make us feel empowered
We will go to such extraordinary lengths
To acquire it that we begin to forget
Our individual talents and strengths
Becoming heartless husks only seeking to get
What we want with no regard
For those who we are stepping on
Because the…

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Things I Find Difficult To Put In Writing

I enjoy creative writing. Like so many wonderful bloggers, it is a great passion of mine. However, what bothers me is how difficult it is to plan, think and write lyrics, stories, etc. Why? Why does everything have to be so hard? Why do you have to try again, after checking and re-writing page after page of work?

True, it is a pain. Indeed, it is hard. But is all the work really worth it? At present, I’m writing a novel and lyrics for a song for Drama school. Both of these pieces are in their infant stages, so it’ll be interesting to see how they turn out.

Is it hard to put stuff into writing? Well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Waiting For A Rainbow – 1st April

There’ll be times that’ll go wrong; you may feel like a failure. But there’s a light, shining inside of you. That’s your faith telling you, ‘Hey, its okay. Try again cause you will get through this’. And that’s what I’m going to do – try again”.

April 2015

Wednesday 1st April

March didn’t start well; I’ve been emotionally down as the same people who wouldn’t allow me to have my personal space, started violating in order to get my attention (and maybe a reaction).When I have these situations, I do my best to ignore them, but there are some who just wouldn’t leave me alone!The things they do to me are really, really bad. I had my hips grabbed and squeezed very tightly while I was eating my food; this left me in pain for a day,I have had my neck grabbed too, but it felt like someone was attempting to strangle me, I’ve been poked in the back and on one occasion, I’ve had someone, using their elbow to press onto my skull. All of these situations have happened behind the teachers’ backs and when they are lots of people around.

I started to feel frustrated and really anxious, in case they would try and go for me again. Also, I have begun to step away from nearly all my peers and friends, hide in corners, standing near doors and wondering by myself around the school. None of the teachers have noticed my behaviour (yet), but I have told my parents and learning monitor.

When I explain my problems, I would always let them out in frustration because that’s the only way I can let it all out. However, I’ve noticed that Mum was fed up of listening to me lately.She told me that I have been rude and becoming a control freak; instead, she said I should just stop complaining and keep saying “No”, so the people can stop picking on me. I could easily see that Mum’s advice wasn’t going to help because every time I did, they’ll still pick on me.

Song #1: Land Of Confusion by Genesis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZujuYiweht8

This song explains about my difficulties at Drama school and home, while I’ve been publishing articles on my blog.

At the same time, most of my peers were ignoring me. I then decided to give myself personal space and do creative writing; this caused a lot of attention. And in a good way. I realised that there were really interested and I even got praised for my work. This helped me to boost my confidence. Next, I tried mixing with my peers, politely asking them to join in their conversations. I normally do this, but I usually don’t get a response or just a simple “yeah”. However, they were very accepting; I even had discussions and debates about various subjects. Since then, I’ve not looked back; old friendships have rekindled and new friendships have been made.

12 Angry Men was a huge success. Sometimes, we had a small audience; one show was tiny since we performed on Mother’s Day. Mostly, we had sold out shows and on the opening night, we had a standing ovation, which is very unusual. When the show finished, we had positive feedback from the audience and in our evaluation session. I couldn’t have been more proud.

Song #2: Let In the Sun by Take That: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhG6pZIlhZQ

This song was new at this time and I would frequently listen to it when I was travelling to Drama school. Then, I realised it was a message, telling me to open myself and keep smiling. And I’m glad I did. 🙂

Towards the end of the spring term, I was attempted to participate in a special class at Drama school. This session is called Playhouse. Playhouse allows where students and staff to share their work they’ve done outside of the school; it takes place every term. At the last minute, I submitted a play, (which is early in development). I have written a short monologue. Finding directors and actors weren’t easy but E agreed to perform while another girl in my year agreed to direct. I did manage to find an actress, who agreed to participate as my main character. However, the actress said that she had to do something. Despite that, she said she wanted to do this. Within days leading to the session, I didn’t get any response from the actress when I tried to send things to her. On the day, she didn’t turn up. This meant, I had to leave my piece and I went home.  

Song #3: True Colours by Phil Collins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4txwNwz_MP8

I would listen to this song whenever I feel down. Although I like Cyndi Lauper’s version, I love this version more because it makes me feel better, like Phil Collins is telling a story. 

Next day, the actress apologised out of the blue and I didn’t know what to do. True, I was worried and stressed that she wasn’t responding to me but I was in a real sticky situation. I asked my Mum for advice; in the end I accepted the actress’ apology and said I was thinking of her.I haven’t seen her since. I learned an important lesson that day. Although these things happen, I just have to accept, carry on and try again.Sometimes, it’s best to forgive others even if it’s hard not to.

On that same afternoon, I went in Drama school for a lesson. I then broke up for Easter.

When I finished my spring term, I did things and I visited people. I took Mum out for a late Mother’s Day dinner with Dad, I went out to dinner with T at our, new local Frankie & Benny’s restaurant, had a few girly day outings with A, went to a lecture in my local library about Elizabeth I and Walter Raleigh; there is a novel about them and the author was presenting it. Also, I had been tidying my bedroom, catching up on my writing, and homework and I did some gardening. I normally don’t do this but one day, I asked Mum if she needed help; in the end, I ended up planting Lily of the Valley bulbs in our back garden. I was so proud of myself.

Now I’m off, I have to focus getting ready for the summer term and prepare for what lies ahead. In March, I learned that T is moving away; I don’t know when she’ll move but I know that I have to spend more time with her beforehand. Also, I have to prepare for my second year. I cannot believe I nearly finished my first year already. And doing this while I catch up on my creative writing and homework. Life’s too short to stand still, so I’m going to take risks and try to make the rest of it.

Song #4: Over the Rainbow by Eva Cassidy: https://vimeo.com/51146842

During March, we had lots of rainy days and rainbows appearing. I guess, they were reminding me that there is still hope and I shouldn’t give up. I grew up with this song and it always reminds me that I should never stop chasing my dreams. This song was the inspiration for the title, “Waiting For A Rainbow”, so I have many reasons to put this in. XD     

Midge’s Tails: Midge At The Dog Show

One afternoon, Midge was downstairs and grooming herself after she spent the morning sleeping in Colin’s bed. When she had finished, Midge thought about what she should do. Why not take a walk around the neighbourhood?

So, Midge went through her cat flap and walked around Queen Elizabeth Street. It was quiet and peaceful; Midge couldn’t hear anything but the chorus of the birds and the silent, cold breeze of the wind.

Suddenly, she heard dogs barking in the distance.

“Where’s that noise coming from?” she said. “ I’m going to investigate”.

After crossing the road, Midge arrived on the bright, green cricket pitch and couldn’t believe her eyes. Everywhere around her, there were dogs. Boxers, Labradors, Poodles and Jack Russell’s. Midge also found Colin, Freddy and Izzy who were taking part in the show too.

“I wonder what’s going on?” she thought.

Midge walked up to greet Freddy and asked him what was happening.

“It’s a dog show”, replied Freddy.

“A dog show, Freddy?” Midge asked. “What’s a ‘dog show’?”

“It’s a special event where dogs and their owners participate in contests and win prizes”, answered Freddy.

“Sounds like fun”, said Midge. “Which categories are you entering?”

“I’m entering the ‘Don’t Eat the Sausage’, ‘Best Dog’, ‘Best Trick’, ‘Waggiest Tail’ and ‘The Dog That the Judge Would Like to Take Home’”.

“Good luck, Freddy”.

Midge left Freddy and continued walking around the arena. Then, she bumped into Izzy. She was talking to Charlie, Sue and Minnie; they were taking part in the show too. Midge asked which contests they were entering.

“I’m entering for “The Most Appealing Eyes”, said Minnie.

“The Dog Who Is Most Like Its Owner”, said Izzy.

“Best Condition”, said Charlie.

That’s because you are hopeless”, snapped Izzy. “No one wants to a loser like you”.

All the dogs, expect Sue howled with laughter. Then, they left her and Midge to find their owners.

“I don’t know Midge”, replied Sue. “Maybe Izzy, Minnie and Charlie are right. What am I good at besides looking after my owner?”

Midge said nothing.

“Exactly: nothing”. Sue walked away in floods of tears.

Poor Sue, thought Midge; she knew how desperately Sue wanted to participate like the other dogs.

The dog show was about to start and Midge went to find a spot to sit. She found one near the ring while, one-by-one, she watched the dogs, their owners and the judges come and go.

Freddy won 1st prize for “The Dog That the Judge would Like to Take Home”, Izzy won 6th place for “The Dog Who Is Most Like Its Owner”, dressing up as a fairy, Minnie came 2nd for “The Most Appealing Eyes” and Charlie received 3rd place for Agility, when his owner put him at the last minute.

Then to Midge’s surprise, Sue entered the ring with her owner, Jim May. She was delighted, “Looks like Sue has found a contest to enter in”, she said.

However, Midge was wrong; standing next to Sue and Jim was a judge, who was dressed very smartly. He was tapping on the microphone to get the audience’s attention. “Ladies and gentleman, May I have your attention please”, he said.

“I normally don’t give out prizes to non-competitors, but I am here to represent a special rosette to Jim May and his dog Sue. While I was judging, I noticed this inspirational pair”.

Then, the judge told the audience the story of Jim, who was blind from birth and diagnosed with autism at a young age. Jim and his family then adopted Sue and it changed his life.

“Their stories have touched my heart”, the judge concluded, “So I hereby give this rosette to Jim and Sue May”. The audience clapped and cheered as Sue and Jim were presented with their special rosette.

“Now I understand”, said Midge. “Sue showed the judge and the audience that winning isn’t everything, but everyone is special”.

But there was one who didn’t agree with the judge’s decision. “That’s not fair”, snapped Izzy. “Sue doesn’t deserve that prize!”

Midge was angry; “You shouldn’t be jealous, Izzy”.

“I don’t care, Midge; I’m better at competing than Sue!”

Suddenly, Midge began to lose her temper. She hissed, and then chased Izzy around the pitch. “That’ll teach you to blow your own trumpet!” she said.

After chasing Izzy, Midge left the dog show. When she arrived back home, Midge walked through the cat flap, climbed up the stairs and jumped back into Colin’s bed.

Midge was about to sleep when she was disturbed by Colin. He picked Midge up and cuddled her in his arms. “Hello, Midge”, said Colin. “I’ve missed you”.

And I missed you, Midge thought cheekily.

Midge snuggled into her owner’s arms, and purred and purred until she fell fast asleep.

© 2015

Love in Ten Sentences [Challenge]

Hiya everyone, Gigi here. 🙂

This post is a special one because this is a challenge I have agreed to participate to help spread the love. Thank you so much to QUIRKYSHINE for nominating me.

If you want to check out her post or her actual blog; please click on the link descriptions below:

Quirkyshine’s Challenge: https://quirkyshine.wordpress.com/2015/03/13/love-in-ten-sentences-challenge/

Quirkyshine’s blog: https://quirkyshine.wordpress.com/author/quirkyshine/

Love can be kind,

Love can be cruel

And love can be strange

But love does bring change;

Love may bring surprises;

Love may have its goodbyes,

But love is seen, inside our eyes.

Love is special, love is gentle,

Love will conquer all, love will stand tall

Because no human love is too big or too small.

My Own Favourite Love Quote:

I love you

And always will.

You’re irreplaceable

Because there is no one like you.

Originally taken (and updated) from My Valentine’s Message to My Parents (14th February 2015)

My Favourite Love Quote:

Let no one

Who loves be unhappy…

Even love unreturned

Has its rainbow


William Shakespeare

My Favourite Love Song Lyrics:

There’s no love like your love

And no other could give more love.

There’s nowhere unless you’re there

All the time, all the way.

(Everything I Do) I Do It For You by Bryan Adams

I now turn to nominate some of my followers to participate. If you accept, you guys have to write a ten line poem, which have to contain the word “love” and can either include your favourite love quote or lyrics at the end.

Here are my ten nominees:



Send Sunshine


Chester Maynes



The High Heeled Papergirl

Eye Will Not Cry

Good luck, guys. 🙂


Bucket List – Things To Do Before I Turn 21


  1. Visit Versailles ^
  2. Take a Photography Course
  3. Learn to Play the Guitar
  4. Publish Something (!)
  5. Host a Dinner Party – and Invite People (!)
  6. Have a Portrait Painted (or in this case, photographed)
  7. Learn a Foreign Language
  8. Be An Extra in a Film/Television Program
  9. Do My Own Laundry (!)
  10. Get a Move On With My Driving (!)
  11. Be a Zoo Keeper For A Day
  12. Be More Charitable
  13. Volunteer To Help
  14. Go Somewhere Unfamiliar
  15. Sing karaoke
  16. Go 24 Hours Without Technology
  17. Watch A Sunset
  18. Be Brave
  19. Create a Dream Home – For When I Move Out (Goodness Knows How Long It’ll Be)
  20. Plan An Awesome 21st Birthday Party (!)

“We all change, in some point of our lives. But change can be a good thing, if we learn to make the right choices.”

February 2015


Sunday 1st March


Remember how I said I wished that I could take my own advice? Last month, I’ve been trying to be more brave and mature.

Since the New Year, I had been ditched by most of my peers, for no reason. (It has made me feel sad, confused and angry.)So to prevent this,I have been mixing, mingling, speaking, and spending time with my close friends and spending time on my own.

Change has come within me too; lately, I had difficulty with a girl I know. For months, I’ve been afraid to say, “No” or explain my feelings; instead, I would make up excuses. Although I was powerless to tell the truth, I feel guilty and ashamed of myself. So, I had discussions with my parents and learning monitor, I’ve decided to say ‘no’ or give each other personal space if I have any future difficulties with her.

Song #1 – Wide Awake by Katy Perry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEZsD1aOgy0

This song explains my difficulties and my realisation; that I have to learn and face them alone.

On the second week of February, I was ill in bed with a bug and I was off for a few days. Meanwhile, it’d been snowing; the snow wasn’t deep and it melted in the afternoon. By the third week, the bug was gone but my cough wasn’t. I still have it. Also, I realised that Valentine’s Day was coming up and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Song #2 – SAD (Single Awareness Day) by Joseph Vincent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJ0U8rYNWzQ

This song explains what I was going through before Valentine’s Day, as I had no date for the day; or so I thought…

On Valentine’s morning, I woke up to find my Dad, giving me a single red rose. It was sweet of him; he didn’t have to. Normally, he gives a bunch of roses to Mum and allows me to pick one from the bunch. However, this year was different and I am extremely grateful. During the day, I went shopping with A and in the evening, my parents and I went out to dinner with I and his parents. The restaurant we went to was Likya in Golders Green, London. When we arrived, I and I exchanged Valentine’s Day cards (as friends) and I gave me a small bunch of roses. It was the best Valentine’s Day I’ve had in a long time and the food was incredible, but the portions were large, like the Oblix.

Then last night, I attended a birthday party; one of my closet friends, D was celebrating his 21st birthday. The party was fantastic; D had planned it since October and my goodness, he did really well. The party was set in a church hall and there were lots of things to do; throughout the evening, we had Jazz music, performed by a live band involving D’s family, friends and school students. They got the whole room dancing on the floor and moving in a conga lines. Also, there were party games and everyone were was inclusive. In the middle of the party, however, I saw ‘Mr Wrong’. I wasn’t sure if I was going to stay until the end, but, I thought, I don’t care; it’s D’s party and I’m going to have a good time. So, I danced, played ‘pop the poppers’ and played with the balloon with my friends. I couldn’t have been more proud and happy. I really enjoyed the party; it was the best one ever.

One night, I told my parents about my experiences and how brave I was, when I take sensible actions and try new things. And the truth is, I’m not ashamed to say it. It has taken me awhile to accept a part of myself, but I feel good.

Song #3 – Happy by Pharrell Williams: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH4YiSH0Vks

This song explains my freedom, as a single woman and being happy about everything!

Lately, I’ve been publishing write articles, short stories, song lyrics and poetry on my blog. I’ve been surprised as I now have followers from the States, France, Nigeria, India, Pakistan, South Africa, Mexico, and Canada and of course, the United Kingdom.I’ve been amazed and surprised by all of this and on a personal note, I would to thank everyone. So far, it’s been a truly amazing journey. My followers’ blogs are pretty amazing; everyone is talented in their own right and I cannot wait to meet more.

Song #4 – You’re The Voice by John Farnham: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLTavGj9hxg

This song explains my time on my blog and planning ahead for March. 

Also, I’ve been fantasizing over a dream holiday to Africa. A lot of people in my family know that I have always want to go there. My learning monitor, who is from Africa, said to me that if I believe in something, keep an open-mind about it and plan ahead, because it may come true. So, I’ve decided to write a list of things I need to do before I go to Africa.

Things to Do to Make My Trip to Africa a Reality

  1. Do research – books, Internet, you name it!
  1. Be more independent – go on more buses, ask things by myself
  1. Save money and make a budget
  1. Create a plan – Where do I want to go? How long do I want to stay? Who should I go with?
  1. Read about the diseases in Africa and look on the NHS website for information on vacations

Goodness knows when it’ll happen, but I’m determined not to give up and just go for it!

Until then, I just going to plan, plan, plan while studying and perform. At this moment, I’m in the process of performing 12 Angry Men in less than two weeks. I guess, we have to wait and see.  


On the third, I started performing Peter Pan again and it a really good show. My last show was on the tenth. I had a week off after the last show.

During the half-term, A and I returned to Bletchley Park. Everything there had changed; when we first went to Bletchley, there were dug out holes around the grounds and there wasn’t a lot to see. Now, there is plenty to see; there are restored huts and we got a chance to see them, Alan Turing’s office and a new exhibition where they exhibited the set, costumes and props from The Imitation Game in the mansion. It is amazing.

After Bletchley, A and I had train delays. But, we only had to wait ten minutes before getting a train. We went back to A’s house and I watched a film, Sex and the City. J joined us but decided to watch an American Football match on his iPad instead. After the film, A and I watched a little bit of the match but I couldn’t stop taking my eye off one of the hosts.

“Alright, that’s it, I’m officially fancying American men”, I said in jokey way.

A and I had a really good laugh about it.

Later in the week, I met up with T and had a lunch at our local Pizza Express restaurant. Then, Mum, Dad and I went to see the musical, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in London’s West End. However, we had a “spanner in the works” day. It started getting a train to London Blackfairs. We missed our scheduled train and had to wait twenty minutes before we could get the next one. After we arrived at Blackfairs, we caught a cab that drove us to the Savoy Theatre. We missed the show by a few minutes but it was alright. The show was really good and enjoyed every moment of it.

The next situation came when we went home. After having dinner at Nando’s and a walk in Trafalgar Square, we travelled back to St Pancras station when we were stopped a huge crowd who were heading towards the barrier; no one could get through. We the reason for the delays that there was incident involving a person, who was hit by a train at West Hampstead Station. So, Mum and Dad decided to take an alternative route. It wasn’t easy; we had to go back on the underground, to a different station and switch two lines. Overall, it took us nearly an hour and a half. We didn’t arrive back home until ten in the evening. It was pretty frustrating; I’m not used to situations like these but it taught me an important lesson – to always stop and ask for help before deciding your alternative route. Luckily, we didn’t have any more spanner in the works days later that week.

And in between the excitement, I tidied up my room and catched up on my homework (as usual).

On the eighteenth, A and I went to St. Albans, Hertfordshire for the day. We did some shopping and had lunch at Nando’s. Then, we went on a tour around St. Albans Abbey; this year, the Abbey is celebrating nine hundred years since its foundation. The Abbey was amazing. It has a mixture of Victorian gothic and medieval structure. But, the room that captivated me was the Lady Chapel; it’s the most beautiful section in the Abbey. A and I would like to come back again later in the year.

I went back to Drama school again on the twenty-first. On the same day, I’ve started rehearsals for the school’s spring show, 12 Angry Men.

On the twenty-fourth, A and I went up to London. In the morning, we went to visit 221b Baker Street – the home of Sherlock Holmes. On the way to the house, we stopped in front of the TFL Lost Property Office. Through the window, there were old antiques that were found on public transport; these included a top hat, a 1930’s iron, left on Bus No. 49 and an early mobile phone. A and I were curious; it was interesting to see antiques that you would never expect to see on public transport and displayed in front of glass window.

Then, we went on a tour around Holmes’ house. I won’t explain all in detail but the house is wonderful. It has fire places with real fire burning inside and real candles, and you can have pictures in the house, wearing Dr Watson and Holmes’ hats.

After lunch at Nando’s, we went to see Shakespeare in Love at the Noël Coward Theatre. It was a really funny play, with a tremendous cast (including the dog), stunning chorography and amazing set. The set was built to look like The Globe Theatre in Shakespeare’s time. At the end of the show, A and I collected white heart-shaped confetti that was used in the wedding scene.

Our favourite part of the day was the play; in our opinion, it was better than the film.

On the thirtieth, I had a photo shoot morning with a professional photographer. The event took place a studio, which was actually an old horse stable, in the middle of the countryside.

The pictures he took were amazing. One minute, I would be dressed in my red dress I wore at the fancy dress party; next, I would be dressed in a white men’s shirt and posing like a 1930’s gangster. It was really fun to do and I enjoyed every moment of it.

Today, it was I’s birthday and to celebrate, he, his parents and I went out for lunch at the Shard in London.

Our original plan was to travel to London Bridge Station; however, I had another spanner-in-the-works day. We couldn’t get onto the Jubilee Line or London St Pancras because of engineering works and flooding between Blackfairs, and London Bridge (Apparently, this has happened for a week). So, we had to take a diversion. In the end, we travelled from West Hampstead, then changed to the Jubilee Line to Finchley Road, the Metropolitan Line to Baker Street, the Circle Line to St Pancras and the Northern Line to London Bridge.

Then, we arrived to the shard and went up into the lift. It took us ten seconds to wait inside; we arrived from the ground to the 32nd Floor; the Oblix Restaurant, where we had our meal. The restaurant was lovely and the staff were very friendly. Although we sat next to the open kitchen, the view we had was incredible.

Where we sat, there breath-taking views of St Pauls, the River Thames, Southwark Cathedral, the BT Tower and the Houses of Parliament. I and I took lots of pictures of Central London from the Shard when we had breaks from our meals.

The food and drinks were nice too. I had gluten-free beard, seared beef, lime, chilli, garlic, and ginger dressing as a starter, rotisserie chicken, as the main and coconut semi-freddo, passion fruit & mango for dessert. For drinks, I had a coke, sprinkling water, a virgin territory Kiwi, apple, ginger, mint cocktail and cups of fresh mint tea.

After dinner, we travelled back home and I got a little tipsy.

I don’t drink alcohol much. But when I do, I go a little crazy; when the train between Baker Street and Finchley Road was bumpy, I ended up dancing on one of the train poles. (Don’t worry, it wasn’t inappropriate) I regret doing it; luckily, I didn’t make a scene.

When we arrived back at I’s house, I and I watched a program called Animals In Love. Then, my parents and I sang “Happy Birthday” to I and watched him blowing out the candles, that were on top of his gluten-free ginger birthday cake. I eat a slice and it wasn’t long before my parents came to pick me up. I had a lovely day; it’s certainly a day to remember, not for me, but for I too.

Lately, I’ve been really down about life. For a few days, there have been friends at Drama school who either wouldn’t give me my personal space or would choose to ignore me when I try to join into conversations.

Why do people do it? Is it in their nature to do, or are they doing it because they think its “cool”?

When I travel back home, I think deep in my thoughts. Why? Am I a bad person? What have I done wrong? Sometimes, it could get emotional. I would get a huge lump in my throat but I would control myself, as I didn’t want to make a scene.

In my mind, I wish to run away and start a new life. However, I know it never solves anything. Instead, I would talk to my parents; they are a few people I can trust.

Mum and Dad have told me that situations like these still happen today; even the older generation share them.It’s surprising that small talk can teach you a lot of things.No person is alone in this world; there is always someone who is an outcast at school, work or home.People will make you invisible, but be calm and keep smiling. If that doesn’t work, you can always tell the truth.Some people (like me) aren’t brave and have difficulty talking about their feelings with loved ones and strangers. If we have the courage, explaining your troubles can change lives.But you have to prepare yourself for what people say about you.Some of their words aren’t true or kind. Be strong; you have a voice that has a right to be heard.

I try, but, I don’t succeed. I guess I’m afraid because I lose my confidence all the time. I have stood up for myself a few times; I know that’s not enough. I wish I could take on my advice…

Song #2 – Lost Stars by Keira Knightly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-5eibAoQD4&spfreload=1

This song explains my thoughts and feelings about my friends; the lyrics truly match the emotions I was going through.


Bucket List – Things To Do Before I Turn 21


  1. Visit Versailles ^
  2. Take a Photography Course
  3. Learn to Play the Guitar
  4. Publish Something (!)
  5. Host a Dinner Party – and Invite People (!)
  6. Have a Portrait Painted (or in this case, photographed)
  7. Learn a Foreign Language
  8. Be An Extra in a Film/Television Program
  9. Do My Own Laundry (!)
  10. Get a Move On With My Driving (!)
  11. Be a Zoo Keeper For A Day
  12. Be More Charitable
  13. Volunteer To Help
  14. Go Somewhere Unfamiliar
  15. Sing karaoke
  16. Go 24 Hours Without Technology
  17. Watch A Sunset
  18. Be Brave
  19. Create a Dream Home – For When I Move Out (Goodness Knows How Long It’ll Be)
  20. Plan An Awesome 21st Birthday Party (!)

“Dreams come slowly, but I am determined to achieve them. Whatever it takes”.


                                                                                                                                                 January 2015

 Sunday 1st February

After the New Year, I was unsure if I was going to gain confidence and falling in love (if I find the right person). But all of that was about to change. One morning, I overheard a song from the radio which was coming from our kitchen. The song was Don’t Give Up by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush. I took my iPad and listened to the full song. I listened to the lyrics very carefully; I realised something. I mustn’t give up on something just because of the bad things that have happened to me.

Song #1 – Don’t Give Up by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twVErD4Wf0I

If I wasn’t going to find true love straight away, then I’m going to start sharing and caring with the people I admire the most. Also, I’m going consecrate on my studies and find a job. No more distractions for me; I’m going to be an independent woman. I have already made a start.

At home, I’ve started a food diary; I’m not a huge fan of healthy-eating and exercising, but I am determined to lose weight.

Also, I’m doing a British Sign Language course; in the comfort of my own home. I’ve started on New Year’s Day with Mum.I’m on lesson two now.I try to practice every one to two weeks but it is impossible as I am trying to keep on top of my work at Drama school.

January has been a month full of roller coaster rides and emotions; one minute, I am happy, then I will be feeling sad at the next. It certainly has been a challenge and I’ve made mistakes along the way, but something tells me this won’t end for a while.

H stayed for the rest of New Year’s Day after sleeping around the night before. Mum and I went for a walk, back in Ashridge with my Auntie and A. It was a very cold, wet day but it was worth getting out once in a while.

On the second, Mum, Dad and I went to a 40th birthday costume party. I didn’t know we were going until on the day.

The birthday we were celebrating was my cousins, B. The theme for the party was favourite Hollywood actors or actresses in movies. I knew who I wanted to be; Julia Roberts.

I had a bright, red dress, which was almost similar to the one she wore in Pretty Woman. However, my short hair didn’t match because Mum and Dad thought I needed to be a look-a-like. Mum said I looked more like Mia Farrow or Grace Kelly, but I didn’t want to go as either of them.

My parents and I arrived at the party at half-eight; this took place in a venue at the Hilton Hotel. When we went inside, we greeted our cousins.

B dressed up as John Travolta, my cousin-in-law, E was Natalie Portman from Black Swan; their eldest Y was Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, M was Anna and the youngest La was Elsa from Frozen.

We had so much fun; there was a live disco and we got to catch up with everyone, even my teenage cousin, R. We are very close, like A and me; we have extremely long girly chats because we don’t see each other a lot; the last time we saw each other was a year ago. R and I also bumped into, met and talked to the children.

In the middle of the party, there was a dance-off; boys vs. girls, involving the grown-ups. I watched the first round, however, I saw that the girls weren’t doing very well. In the end, I went onto the dance floor to join them. I stood next to E and gave it all I got. In the end, the girls won the dance-off.

Then, we congaed to the song “Follow the Leader”, with B as the leader. Afterwards, R and I spent some time with a tired Y; she fell asleep straight away on R’s lap.

However, M was wide awake. She and her friend came round and chatted to us. Then, I took my high-heels off my aching feet; that was big mistake. The girls admired my shoes. Suddenly, they picked them up and began to run. They dared me to chase them so I could get my heels back. M and her friend were screaming when I tried to catch them, clinging to my heels with tight grips in their hands. Soon, R and Dad were involved; it took me fifteen minutes to get them back. By the time I did, it was time to go home. We all had a lovely time, but running around the venue was exhausting.