Sunday 24th May
Ever felt that you’ve had an experience, which you have enjoyed but then you feel hurt, embarrassed and shameless about it afterwards? Well, it’s happened to me. Ever since the surprise party, I’ve been the same.
It turns out that I was wrong to give Stuart a second chance and all through these past two weeks, there has been some pretty crazy stuff, including a organisation for a reunion party, which I didn’t end up going.
This explains why I was upset last Tuesday. I thought I couldn’t do anything but after words of encouragement from my parents and learning monitor, I thought it was time to face my fears. I spoke to someone about my situation with Stuart. And when Dakota asked me if I was going to make contact with him again, I told her, “No because I don’t want too”.
In all honesty, I feel I was deeply hurt by all of this.
Also, Dakota’s friendship with me is straining when I found out that Stuart was involving her too. It’s really sad because you don’t want this kind of thing to happen. I would expect anything to happen like this, now I don’t know what to think.
Song #1 – Because of You by Kelly Clarkson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTTjLxXFg0k
This song explains my past and present feelings with him. I used to listen to this song a lot when many bad things happened to me and after that Christmas. Listening to it now makes me feel that I was going back to square one again and what I can do again to move on with my life.
Song #2 – Don’t Speak by No Doubt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONg4SK39-Kg
This song explains my feelings about my friendship with Dakota right now. Even listening to it is making my heart crush. 😦
If things get emotional this week, I have to be prepared for it. But right, all I need is a holiday, so I can take the weight off of this situation.