Waiting For A Rainbow – 1st October 2014

Bucket List – Things To Do Before I Turn 21

 Glastonbury

  1. Visit Versailles ^
  2. Take a Photography Course
  3. Learn to Play the Guitar
  4. Publish Something (!)
  5. Host a Dinner Party – and Invite People (!)
  6. Have a Portrait Painted
  7. Learn a Foreign Language
  8. Be An Extra in a Film/Television Program
  9. Do My Own Laundry (!)
  10. Get a Move On With My Driving (!)
  11. Be a Zoo Keeper For A Day
  12. Be More Charitable
  13. Volunteer To Help
  14. Go Somewhere Unfamiliar
  15. Sing karaoke
  16. Go 24 Hours Without Technology
  17. Watch A Sunset
  18. Be Brave
  19. Create a Dream Home – For When I Move Out (Goodness Knows How Long It’ll Be)
  20. Plan An Awesome 21st Birthday Party (!)

“It’s time to change; that’ll be the best thing for me”.

 September 2014


Wednesday 1st October

Start after I wrote my last entry, I received a message on my Facebook profile page. I went to check it out; I then noticed my name, tagged in a video message from one of my Drama school friends, O. To my surprise, I discovered that he had nominated me for Macmillan Ice Bucket Challenge.

However, I had a feeling O might nominate me because he, a few of my friends and I were talking about the challenge a couple of weeks ago. Since then, I’ve been dreading about it. When the day finally came, I knew I had to accomplish the task. O gave me forty-eight hours.

I did the challenge the following afternoon. When I told Mum and Dad about doing the challenge, Dad wasn’t too keen. He talked me out of this but, I decided to go ahead.

The challenge took place in the back garden. The sooner I get it done, the better, I thought. I was very nervous; I wasn’t looking to have very cold water landing on me. Mum and Dad were in the garden with me. I sat down on one of our blue deck chairs.

“I want to thank O for nominating me for the Ice Bucket Challenge”, I said, facing Mum who was recording the challenge on my iPad. I then said that I was doing the challenge for charity, supporting Macmillan Cancer Trust.

I gave Dad, the signal to pour the bucket of cold water on my head. I closed my eyes; then, I felt the water pouring on top of me. I screamed, really loudly; the water was very cold, so my body wasn’t very keen on the temperature.

“OH MY GOD, THAT’S COLD”, I yelled.

It took me a while to get over the bitter coldness of the water. Once I came to, I said, “Someone get me a towel; quick!”

Instead of waiting, I ran back into the house, picked up my towel in the kitchen.

I was so glad when I finished. Mum and Dad didn’t say anything.

I didn’t do very much during the first week of September, expect spending time with my friends and family. I went to the cinema with A, I went out to dinner at an Indian Restaurant with A, J, their parents, and mine and I went out with T for a pizza in town.

Then on the seventh, I went on a picnic with I, R, and three more friends, Ol, S, P and RT for the afternoon in a local park.

We all had a nice time, talking and socialising with each other – we even played Frisbee. I made friends with P and S and now we keep in contact with each other.

In the evening, A came round to mine and we had our nails done. She suggested that we should paint them like the Hogwarts badges and the Harry Potter’s scar. A said she was inspired after watching tutorial videos on YouTube of professional make-up artists, painting the Hogwarts all four house badges. However, A also said that the videos were complicated. So we decided to make ones of our own. On each finger, we painted a black background, with Harry’s scar in the middle, the Gryffindor, the Hufflepuff badges (with gold and yellow nail paints), the Ravenclaw and the Slytherin badges (with bronze and white paints). A was unsure how it would turn out but we did it. While we were painting the nails, we listened to music on my iPad.

When our nails were dry, we danced and sang along to old school tunes; Superman, Cotton Eye Joe and 5, 6, 7, 8. Nothing beats good dance tunes than old school tunes and we had a blast!

During my first week, my timetable was like this:

Tuesday 9/9

Wednesday 10/9

Thursday 11/9

Friday 12/9

10:00

Induction Project

10:15
10:30
10:45
11:00
11:15
11:30
11:45
12:00
12:15
12:30

12:45

13:00

Induction Project

13:15
13:30
13:45
14:00

Induction Project

14:15
14:30
14:45
15:00
15:15
15:30
15:45

Induction Project

16:00

Home

16:15
16:30

Break

Home

Home

16:45
17:00

Christmas Show Rehearsal

17:15
17:30
17:45
18:00
18:15
18:30

Break

18:45

19:00

Christmas Show Observation 2

19:15
19:30
19:45
20:00
20:15

20:30

Home

Trying to get ready for the first day was hectic. A week before, I was given a very, very late email from my tutors (this contained what will happen and what I need to do whilst on the course). Also, it said on the letter I need to do some research and bring work in by the ninth. The topics I had to research included Inclusion and Mainstream Theatre. It was a lot to take in but in the end, I typed up ten pages of research. I stuck my research on with blue tack (much to Dad’s disapproval) onto several pieces of paper and lamented them. I managed to finish them in the morning before I went to the school. My first day was in the afternoon.

Before we began, I sat down in the cafeteria where I saw my old friends; L, O, E, A, N, Na, Li, J, D, G-L, S and Iz.

There were new people too; there were H, So, another Rai, Da, Mar, F, Kay, Sha and P.

When we were taken into a classroom, my first year tutor brought my year together in a circle; we went around and said our names, what we have done in the summer and/or what theatre productions have they seen. We managed to settle in very well and got off to a great first week.

Also, we started our Christmas show rehearsals. This year’s Christmas show is Peter Pan, which is one of my favourite stories. When I heard that we were doing the show, I said I wanted to be a pirate.

On my first rehearsal, I was called in fifteen minutes before because my teachers wanted to talk to me – I was told that I was given responsibility as a group leader in a small group. This meant I had to look after individuals who need extra help during rehearsals and shows. Then, I was put into my group and I was cast as a pirate! Yes! The people I had in my group were also cast as pirates. However, most of teenagers were very quiet, despite my effort to interact with them, especially while we were learning the finale song. So I decided to find games online for my group during our rehearsals.

Monday 15/9

Thursday 18/9

Friday 19/9

10:00

Induction Project

Induction Project

10:30
11:00
11:30
12:00

Break

12:30

Vocal

13:00

Induction Project

13:30

Lunch

14:00
14:30
15:00

Home

15:30
16:00
16:30
17:00

Home

Christmas Show Rehearsal

17:30
18:00
18:30

Home

We had two workshops; the first one was about masks with the BA students. As well as playing and acting out with the masks in small groups, we also played games like “Grandmother’s Footsteps” and exercises where we transformed into different characters. The second one (also with the BA students) was on cirque gymnastics. In a small overcrowded space, we did warm-up’s, exercise games and exercises, in small groups.

During the weekend, I was tidying up my room and borrowing through my cupboard when I came across my old diary. Then, I sensed a feeling in my body to open it. Inside, I found a sheet of paper with cards written to me from the person the boy who I mentioned in my first entry. I didn’t look and read them because I knew it would make me sad. But I didn’t want to think about it so I decided to move on – properly.

I tore up and shredded all the cards. It wasn’t a decision I wanted to make but I knew, deep down that I had to do it.

Then on the third week (until the beginning of November), my lessons turned out to be like this:

Monday

Thursday

Friday

10:00

Practical Session Year 1

10:30
11:00

Practical Session Year 1 *

11:30
12:00

Break

12:30

Vocal

Support Time

Module 101 & 102

13:00
13:30

Lunch

14:00

Break

14:30

Module 101 & 102

Module 101 & 102

Home

15:00
15:30
16:00

Dinner

16:30

Home

17:00

Christmas Show Rehearsal

17:30
18:00
18:30

Home

* Not on 13/9

I also had extra rehearsals between 7 to 8.30pm on 21st October and 4th November.

During the third week, I’ve been re-reading my old diary entries. Sometimes, I forget that I started this task six months ago. I’ve also learned about myself. Some things are good and some are bad. Then, I discovered a sheet of paper. This piece of paper was written in small sentences under my name, as a title. This paper, I think was written while I was in the Brownies or Girl Guides:

Georgiana

* Your funny and kind.

Enthusiastic and Intelligent.

Fun and lively and always happy x .

Always smiling, can be very

funny, whilst not knowing.

Very friendly and approachable as a

student.

Very smiley and happy and always lively.

She is very funny when sings and has a good voice.

She is kind, friendly, and always happy

Georgiana is funny special and absolutely quiet girl keep smiling

Georgiana and also keep singing because you never know you

might even get brought to this year’s the X Factor.

Georgiana is nice and friendly.

Reading it (after many years) made want to smile. Looking at what the girls, who I used to know, wrote made me realise that I nearly forget the real me. I have a lot of enthusiasm but worry and anxiety over the last year had taken over my system. But people always say that I always smile and I am very cheery; I try to camouflage my true feelings. Guess, it seems to be working.

I’m starting to realise that it’s okay to be funny without knowing, kind, enthusiastic, friendly and approachable to everyone when I need to. If people are being nasty, I could say nothing or just tell them (calmly and polity) not to do things to me.

Then, I decided to change completely by setting myself a new list:

The Do’s and Don’t’s of a Young Adult Life

  1. DO set boundaries for yourself
  1. DO keep your true friends by your side and help them in every way they can
  1. DON’T let people who dislike you bring you down
  1. DON’T get stressed with everything that goes wrong in your life
  1. DO keep on believing – if you work hard and keep on dreaming, they may one day come true
  1. DO carry on the things that you love to do, i.e., your favourite hobbies
  1. DON’T ignore or shy away from immature people, unless you have nothing to say
  1. DON’T create a drama scene – your actions might ruin your image
  1. DO think about others more than yourself
  1. DON’T act like a drama queen, focusing on problems which are not your own.

After writing it down, I hope I would follow these rules. Now, I begin to think on positive thoughts; it was the only way to do this and I always said to myself, “I mustn’t let myself down”.

I need to start to see the real me. Hopefully, I will be able to achieve this; if not, then I can always start again until I can get it right – it’s just like rehearsing a dance routine.

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Author: Sez

My name is Sez. I am on the Autistic Spectrum; I was diagnosed when I was two years old. Being Autistic can be tricky; I easily jump into conclusions and miss important skills that are part of my social life. However, my "condition" hasn't stopped me from doing the things I love. I am currently studying Performing Arts at a Drama school in London. I'm a hard worker and a dreamer. Also, I love creative writing and writing lyrics. I'm a keen adventurer and would love to travel the world. I want to take this opportunity to thank you for reading my blog. I hope you enjoy actingmylife. :)

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